Laughter is the best medicine

[liza123]

Laughter is the best medicine...Reader 's Digest tagline..

Joke No. 1



Escaped Convict

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Escaped convict breaks in to bed room, ties up the husband in chair n wife on bed. Jumps on top of wife, kisses her ear and goes 2 bathroom....
Husband tells wife, satisfy him or he will kill us, i saw he kissed you., be strong, i love you.
Wife says:He didn't kiss me, he told me that he is a gay and is looking for Vaseline, i told him that it is in bathroom. you be strong, I love you.......... LOL
Joke No.2
The Three Gifts

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There were three brothers who grew older and eventually left home and moved on in life, but got together for Christmas every year! This year they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first brother said that he had built a luxurious house for his mother.
The second said that he had sent the latest model of Mercedes for his mother.
The third grinned and said, well I think I have the best present for her. He reminded the two brothers how their mum had trouble reading the bible as she can not see very well. So he had got her a parrot which recites the entire Bible, all that had to be done was tell the parrot the chapter and verse and the parrot would recite it.

The mother received the gifts and sent all three of her sons a thank you letter.


To the first son she wrote "Dear Dave, The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"

To the second son she wrote "Dear Gordon, I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Donald, You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes.
The chicken was Dee-licious!"

Hope that these jokes made you laugh today!Have a nice day!

[slimshady]

haha..these were good. in fact i'm going through a lot of hilarious stuff today!!

[Shax]

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.