why does alcohol bother me?

[george1415]

Hello all-

Sorry if this is in the wrong section. I have something that bothers me and has for some time now.

Growing up my parents never really drank, we never had alcohol in our house, actually i cant remember them ever drinking. As i got older i remember seeing like maybe a wine bottle or a few but that was rare. I really dont like the bar scene for many reasons but for some reason i get upset when someone i really care about drinks. When i say drinks i dont mean gets drunk, just has a few. If i'm not around them when they drink it bothers me more than when i am around them, but it does still bother me a little when i'm around them. They dont get really drunk and go crazy. I'm mainly talking about my brother, sister and wife. When i hear or think about them drinking i just get upset and i dont know why.

I want to get over this and figure out why it bothers me so much. Why doesnt it bother my brother and sister. Anyone have any thoughts on why it bothers me so much? How can i get over it? I've talked to my wife about it and she doesnt want to change. She doesnt drink that much. I dont really enjoy the taste of alcohol so much but i will drink maybe once a year and just have one or 2, just i guess because i dont really feel normal.

[SWM]

there must be a reason why you are getting upset and this will have some connection to your beliefs about the effect of alcohol. it may help if you tell me what you mean by get upset. what kind of emotion is that? what goes through your mind when you feel upset in these situations?

[Michael]

i share the exact same unease. its as if alcohol and the behavior it involves, and moreso the thought process or lack thereof that brings an individual to want to drink corrupts our loved ones or makes them into someone else, like itll make them into someone we cant love over time. i just recently discovered my bestfriend, who ill call jane, whom i love with all my heart, likes to drink very rarely. i can count on one hand how often shes been drunk in the past two years. she is 17. now, i am a very prudent citizen, and respect the law, but it is more than breaking the law. its like she would rather have fun drinking than do something else, or that she is around very bad people who do bad things. the thought of her drinking just makes my heart ache very badly. she doesnt even drink that much, but it just so deeply disturbs me that it makes me feel depressed.

i feel ur pain, but i am just as confused as you are there buddy.

[Michael]

during the time since i posted this, yes, mere minutes, i came to a vast and deeply significant realization. when jane exhibited this behavior, it was very akin to when my best friend in the world and my sister began drinking when i was seven, she was eleven. someone so close to my heart chose drinking over me, and i am feeling it all over again. we are infinitely better now, and have a wonderful relationship. (im 19, she is 23)

past experience was my problem. maybe somewhere in your past someone you cared for was affected by alcohol, and you are feeling those feelings again.

[hortonpilot]

You just feel responsibility and care for these people?
The desire to protect them is reasonable.
some times people need to be protected .

the question is can you and /or will they want this?

Horton.

[drywaterdrywater]

it bothers you because you care alot about your family.

alcohol is more negative than positive.

youre going need to just match you emotions in moderation with there drinking and attitudes caused by drinking.

for example if they have 1 beer and act slightly normal, then you should be slightly upset.

if they drink a bottle and go streaking, then its ok to be highly upset.

or you can just laugh and enjoy the momment.

[hortonpilot]

This is a tough one, i have thought about it a bit .
Viewed in the clear light people can lead very chaotic lives when they drink too much irrespective of their social station, it effects all class of people.
The low income families are effected most by it because they least afford the destructive consequences, but as well the monied also suffer .

Some people get used to living a life where things go awry because of the effects of alcohol and see it as fairly normal and may not even notice it .

They might even go as far to say that non-drinkers or moderates lead boring lives?

Horton

[voodoo scientist]

You need to get proper drunk, so you can see why people get drunk. Tell your wife to help you with her drinking skills and have a booze night, she'll appreciate that (plus she can help you not puke, which will really ruin the point of the whole thing). You don't have to keep drinking after that, but you're probably feeling left out because they're doing something you aren't a part of and don't understand why. Buy a few bottles of wine and get really tanked.