I'm either a sadist or a movie freak...

[mechanicarts]

Am I really a sadist as I've come to believe? I haven't actually caused physical pain to a person, but I'm often making them anxious. Most usually, I tell them some lie that will make them anxious, and I will keep lying and assuring them that it is like so. When I see their expressions or their messages on MSN, I get instantly horny but also giggling nervously...At some point if this situation lasts long I'll even start some intimate touching, because this makes me utterly horny. I don't really do this on purpose, it's just an impulse I'm feeling at some point while being with them. Why's this? Am I really a sadist?

[ConsciousPuppet]

Lets not get stuck in labels yet. The thing is humans feel emotions according to how they interpret a certain situation. What it means to them.
-I want to understand what exactly you enjoy in troubled people. Maybe its just the fact that you are able to cause certain behavior. People enjoy power, meaning we might do things just cause they make us feel strong, powerful, in control. So it might not be that you enjoy causing pain/lying/deceiving, just that you're good at it and enjoy doing it, like any other skill; and since the satisfaction of a performance (doing something) is amplified with an audience (someone to see it), the more fun.
-The giggling seems like a sign of enjoying something "forbidden" or considered bad in a social aspect, like when little kids do pranks. This "breaking the rules" also makes us feel powerful.
Can I ask you some stuff?:
when did you notice it at first? who was it with?
is it with men and/or women? Is it with a friend in particular?

The point is to understand how you see the person on the other side, because you will see yourself according to how you relate to whoever you're chatting with (or relating to).

PS: Dont take anything personal, im just throwing ideas. If you feel your answers are too personal you can send me a message instead of posting. =]

[mechanicarts]

I'm not sure when I started doing and enjoying that. I hadn't even noticed, until yesterday while chatting with a guy, I did it again, and it seems he was overwhelmed by my (fake) action. So he started even BEGGING me to undo it and not do it again and he was totally freaked out. It totally rocketed my libido, although I had remorses for doing it. After a while and after he tried desperately to convince me, I told him the truth. I do enjoy it with both sexes, it's actually the reaction that interests me, not the sex. I do it with friends or people I've just met. I feel bad afterwards for enjoying it though, but it doesn't keep me from trying it again. If any other questions, I'd be glad to help you help me

[ConsciousPuppet]

     Im having a real tough time tackling this problem. Human's ultimate goal is to remain happy, which is achieved by realization of desires and covering needs. In your case we got pain and pleasure together, and the ideal solution would be to keep the pleasure and sever the pain. Of course this is only a short term solution. Since the absence of a possible pleasure is percieved as pain, Just stopping the bechavior is like trying to quit drugs in one shot. Im just trying to find a solution that wont make the problem worse.

Help me define the problem
Do you want to stop the behavior
-so u wont feel bad afterwards [avoiding pain]
-stop the behavior because it poses a problem to the people it affects [keeping good relationships]
-to think better of yourself, to feel normal [self esteem] [social perception of yourself (I mean if you
 feel less when you're with others beacuse of your behavior)
-religious reasons, beliefs, moral

Im still thinking and will get back to you!

PS: Listen, im still a psychology student, and of course I'm interested in helping you, and also taking this as experience, but if you think this problem could grow or worsen, and if it might affect other areas of your life, look for professional help. This is my advice to you =)

[mechanicarts]

I'm sure it won't get past the emotional pressure I like to cause.

I want to stop it because:
-I don't want people to consider me a sadist (I don't like labels, but others are not too hard-thinkers)
-I don't feel it's good to perceive other people's negative feelings (which I cause) as pleasure
-I think it's kinda freakish to derive sexual pleasure from such a thing.

However, most of the time it will not affect my social status. It's kind of easily forgotten, both be me and the "victim", mostly because I don't really take it to the limits.

[ConsciousPuppet]

Srry for the lag, my pc's been acting up lately:

     Its harder to break a habit within a habit [assuming its a habit], so lets change the habit instead. Dont chat when your'e used to, like every time you log on your computer, or right after going to bed. Avoid chatting, limit it only to meaningful communication [dont log just to chat [socially], instead just to communicate something you might need to. Chatting gives you anonimity [at least nobody is in contact, just words on a screen] and that aint useful right now, so if you want to socialize use the phone or meet with people.

     The real problem here is the pleasure, so find a way of getting aroused that you consider normal, whether it be fantasizing, checking people out or straight out porn. The point is to redirect where you get arousal from. If your particular way of getting aroused has some psycholoogical meaning or weight, it might be more effective in reinforcing itself.

[mechanicarts]

It's not that I can only find arousal via causing anxiety! It's just that I can find it also this way. I think that I've been breaking the habit though. I haven't done something like that for a long of time, just because I don't feel like it. I don't want to think I haven't done it because I was not given the chance