A family affair...

[tac2bz]

I've become acquainted with a woman who has 3 children and a husband...on top of every health issue you can think of (according to her).  She had three disks fused in her back about 3 years ago and since I didn't know her before that, I'm assuming that most of her "issues" were around long before that.
She's a terrible influence on my own mental health.  She leaves and all I can do is think of negative points she made while she was visiting.  However, I feel terrible for her children, and therefore don't have the heart to tell her to stay away!
Each of her children has some mental issue.  The 7 year old has ADHD, the 5 year old has severe anxiety issues and the 4 year old is borderline mentally disabled.  
What in the world is it going to take to get this woman to get some help?

[SWM]

you really need to think about yourself in this situation, this women is a very negative women and if you are beginnning to think negatively you could become depressed yourself. the children need help but can you give them what they really need?, probably not. thier own mother cannot give them what  they need. this friendship is damaging to your health and well being.

[cognitive]

What in the world is it going to take to get this woman to get some help?

I think you should try to make her see the positive part of her situation, I mean those things that are good in her life and focus on them to find the power to overcome all the difficulties .
A positive attitude will bring her many benefits , also she needs all her friends to sustain her.
What country does she live in? Do they have special programs for kids with special needs ?

[DevilsAdvocate]

You can only help a person if they are willing to accept it. If she doesnt feel like she needs the assistance, then it will be a lost cause. There is very little you will be able to do for them, if thats the case.

[voodoo scientist]

Even if you were willing to invest a significant amount of hours per week into making this woman function on some normal level, it's unlikely you would succeed without counselling training and experience.

[acousticeagle]

I feel for you here. For it is obvious to you that this woman could improve her lot in life, and the lives of her needy children, if she thought more objectively and was less needy of your attention. People who seek out the attention of others and have a lot of problems will, by their circumstances or what they talk about, be an emotional drain on others, sometimes whether they think they are or not. It's sad.

But if she was no longer in your company, she would probably find someone else to relate her situation and personality to. In kind-hearted people, such as what I think you are, there is the desire to 'champion the underdog' - at your own risk.

You've found that you've gone beyond your ability to cope with this person and consequently lost your peace. You might have to save yourself before it gets any worse. Could you be brave and let her know what you really think? It might be just what this woman needs. She might take offence, but at least someone's told her.

Later, after you've got your nerves back together, you can breathe that permanent sigh of relief. Some courage may be required, and then it will be over. You only have one life to live and your own emotional needs. If you don't look after that part of yourself, you can barely be an effective help for others when others might have some need of you. In that, we realise our limitations with the knowledge of our own need for self-nuturing.