Why do people lie?

[StepH]

I'm sure everyone has come accross some people who are constantly lying. I don't mean a lie to save themselves from trouble, but just lying about what they have done in life, the amount of money they have etc etc.

I've known five people so far which tell stories of their experiences (women, cops, fights, places they've visited etc) and their wealth which are obviously blunt lies.

My question is, why do they do it? I can see most of them are trying to give off a persona that they wish they were, but don't they realise that their stories are so preposterous that noone could possibly believe them?
And from my experience, when confronted that what they are saying is impossible or contradictory to what they have said before, they either keep insisting that it's true to deny ever saying anything otherwise.

What goes on in their heads? Are they sick? Do they think everyone but them is a complete idiot? Do they believe that they are fooling someone? Do they get offended when someone expresses their distrust to them?

[anaklio]

You present what may appear to be extreme cases, but they are actually quite common. People want to appear interesting, so they often aggrandize things. Also, people have VERY poor memories and thus have to rely on confabulation. Finally, our society encourages people to lie as it is considered rude to be blunt.

I make a conscious effort EVERY MOMENT to not lie. I fail EVERY DAY, yet I think I'm doing better then most people. And I continue to improve.

[knight]

I think in that cases people think that lying would help them to gain dignity. They don't want to be inferior to a fellow human in money problems and believe me most of the humans would do that or at sometimes induced to lie. It all has to do with human psychology.

[wolschulze]

I'm sure everyone has come accross some people who are constantly lying. I don't mean a lie to save themselves from trouble, but just lying about what they have done in life, the amount of money they have etc etc.

I've known five people so far which tell stories of their experiences (women, cops, fights, places they've visited etc) and their wealth which are obviously blunt lies.

My question is, why do they do it? I can see most of them are trying to give off a persona that they wish they were, but don't they realise that their stories are so preposterous that noone could possibly believe them?
And from my experience, when confronted that what they are saying is impossible or contradictory to what they have said before, they either keep insisting that it's true to deny ever saying anything otherwise.

What goes on in their heads? Are they sick? Do they think everyone but them is a complete idiot? Do they believe that they are fooling someone? Do they get offended when someone expresses their distrust to them?

I think that you speak about the people who are not liars essentially. I'm sure that these people have desire to run away from the reality and their  lie is a fantasy.

[st_hart]

I also wonder why they lie when their situation don't force them at all to lie.
I also have a colleague who often lies just to make herself looks good to the others. Like "I will work on Saturday; I have much work to complete." And she ended up going to beach with her friends.

[oujdaboy]

For fear of injury, for fear of being abandoned for lack of confidence, to make someone proud to improve their lives, to achieve their ends, .... 1000 reasons

[ConsciousPuppet]

In the picture you paint the purpose is social. Still for unknown reasons [to me] people develop/have the desire for attention. I figure because it validates them, or maybe its useful like a resource. So we figure out ways to get it. One of them is being impressive or admirable or astounding or "wow'ish". So if thats the way you know, and feel that your self is unimpressive, you got 3 choices:
1- become impressive
2- stay as you are and feel crappy about it
3- lie about it

[seekinghga]

People lie because they have achieved failure in some action or another.  There are, of course, those who lie to lie.  They have simply failed to achieve a common reality.  Too often they have projected their fantasies unto the world and have become actors of their own failed production.

Still for unknown reasons [to me] people develop/have the desire for attention.

The reason is usually called "being human," though, a more scientific definition escapes me at the moment.

[anaklio]

>Still for unknown reasons [to me] people develop/have the desire for attention.

Everyone wants to feel unique. While it is true that we are genetically unique (except for identical twins and clones ;-) we live in a world where almost everything including people is expendable. No one is happy about this. So a few choose to make themselves distinct through honest means (e.g., sports, talent) while others though dishonest means (e.g., crime, lying).

[m00se1989]

I'm sure everyone has come accross some people who are constantly lying. I don't mean a lie to save themselves from trouble, but just lying about what they have done in life, the amount of money they have etc etc.

I've known five people so far which tell stories of their experiences (women, cops, fights, places they've visited etc) and their wealth which are obviously blunt lies.

My question is, why do they do it? I can see most of them are trying to give off a persona that they wish they were, but don't they realise that their stories are so preposterous that noone could possibly believe them?
And from my experience, when confronted that what they are saying is impossible or contradictory to what they have said before, they either keep insisting that it's true to deny ever saying anything otherwise.

What goes on in their heads? Are they sick? Do they think everyone but them is a complete idiot? Do they believe that they are fooling someone? Do they get offended when someone expresses their distrust to them?

maybe they just want you to figure out why they are lying so you can spoon-feed them their own bullshit one day... so yeah try to do that and piss them off...

[hortonpilot]

Some small lies are just part of life.

But the larger ones on a regular basis .......... interfere with the smooth sailing.

Horton

[behaviorminded]

People lie because the truth is too real, painfully so.   One doesn't want anybody to really know they are a loser, failure, boring, etc.  One lie gives one the strength to tell another, "What a tangled web we weave."  Arrogance soon emits from this fantasy person one has become, only to strengthen the lies around oneself.  A web upon the web is spun, the orgin of lies.

[hortonpilot]

"If all else fails try being honest?"

Best advice .

[voodoo scientist]

It's just fun.

[Big Psych]

Deceptive behavior is found throughout the animal kingdom, and universally among primates.  It's an evolved tool that we utilize for resource aquisition (whether it be actual resources like money, food, sex, etc or resources that lead to actual ones such as status, power, affinity, etc).  Often times if you catch someone lying, then ask them why they lied, they can't tell you.  Because they really don't know.  It can be as natural a reaction as breathing.

[kontra]

Lying is justifiable when you use it to take advantage of people and to gain favors over their good nature.

But also I think it is a means of social establishment and self-defense.

Also, when a girl asks you 'do you think I'm fat?'... unless you're one of the few who admits to enjoy other people's misery, you're already trying to lie to save your 'social face' with her... I once had the opportunity of being asked that question and answered 'yes'. I never saw her again, and the people around me kept scolding me about it. So if you ask me, people lie because its suits them to keep their social and personal image acceptable by others. Naturally we lie.

If you truly want to be different, as Hortonpilot quoted... try being honest.

[S. Earl Martin]

"It's just fun."? Really?

Actually I have seen very many people cause serious trouble for themselves and others in what started out as a little lie. It lead to a bigger lie and then to cover up that lie it became bigger until they lost the trust of the people they cared about.  It definetly wasn't fun.

I wonder how much TV and movies etc. have to do with this? People have grown up watching false reality and images of people and places that they can never be or achieve. They look at their boring everyday exsistance and want it to be more exciting. So they lie. Not only to others, but to themselves. Also many people don't think about the consequences of their actions. It comes back to motivational factors and order of priority.

Think do feel
Think feel do
Do feel think
Do think feel
Feel think do
Feel do think

In which order do we act and react? Do we think about the best course of action first? Do we react to our feelings? Or do we react without thinking? I have seen most lies that people tell are to conceal something. You do have people who constantly lie for no apparent reason, but most of the time it is to cover up an error or another lie. Something of that nature. You have lies of pride, lies of deception, and lies of concealment. Peace

[voodoo scientist]

First off, lying is fun because it is the most direct possible application of and way to practice higher-order intentionality. If you are a bad liar, you are probably (but not definitely) bad at seeing other people's point of view - or the other way around, depending on your preferrence -  much like you are probably (but not definitely) good at other deceptive strategies. It is not possible to lie well without fully understanding the target's current perspective.

Secondly, TV and movie watching is not correlated with antisocial behavior. Thirdly, all the above theories of processing are likely wrong: all evidence points to the brain being a parallel rather than serial computer, meaning that all three happen simultaneously in regards to the mind (everything we perceive both internally and externally), not in any particular sequence.

It's possible, even plausible, that the complexity goes beyond that: all or most psychological processes simultaneously contribute to the mind, with different processes weighed in different ways depending on stimuli, genes, neurochemistry, culture and other factors in an inconceivably complex mechanism from which the mind emerges.

[S. Earl Martin]

I agree that the processes happen simaltaniously, but it is order of priority. Do they place more empathesis on their feelings, on the task, or do they use for thought? To use your analogy. To be a good liar you need to use for thought. Think first. If they react to their feelings or just do whatever and see what happens the odds of success are reduced. The odds of getting caught are increased. When you said different processes weighed in different ways. That is exactly what I am refering to. Some people are reactionary. Some are more calculating.

Also studies have been conducted recently that demonstarte that the generation that has grown up playing video games and watching movies etc. Have a hard time distinguishing between reality and fantasy. That many times they tend to see reality as what ever they want it to be. Not how it really is. This is what I was refering to.

In past discussions you have advocated the scientific method for measuring what is true or real. If you are lying wouldn't this destort your measurements? What you know. What you think you know. What you don't know and what you can't know. Lying makes this impossible.

In the past I used to lie. Only when it served my purposes. I was very good at it and never got caught. If ever I came close I always had a stratagy to cover my tracks. I studied how people lie, how they get away with it and how they get caught. After awhile I realized that the lies were destorting my perception of reality. Remembering what was a lie and what was true became increaseingly difficult. That is what lead me to the What you know principle's. Now I no longer lie and it made life much simpler. If you are as intellegent as you appear maybe someday you will realize the same thing. 

Good things be yours.

[voodoo scientist]

Order of priority (or weight) is most likely not fixed, but varies from person to person and situation to situation, and one behavior can have many possible "cause constellations." For instance, it is entirely possible to be a good liar without having a conscious, declarative understanding of why one is a good liar (such as you purport to have), more akin to knowing how to ride a bicycle. Thus, the competence for lying can be either logical or emotional/intuitive, but the ultimate behavioral expression is the same. A fixed or consistent weighing model like you describe is also unlikely given that individual people demonstrate very inconsistent behavior even when showing consistent personality scores.

A few side corrections: First, there are no studies showing a convincing correlation between playing video games, watching TV and dissociative disorders, antisocial behavior or otherwise. There are correlations with poor health/overweightness and excessive media consumption, but they are hardly universal and there is definitely no established causal link. If you were referring to that, you are almost certainly wrong. Secondly, I have never claimed that the scientific method can be used to measure what is true or real - the scientific method can only measure what one attempts to measure by the standards set and assumptions made.

If you're as wise as you would like me to conclude you are, you would consider this and the fact that your personal experiences are by themselves insufficient cause for (or inhibition of) behavior, for either yourself or others. Lying has a bad reputation, but ultimately, it doesn't distort measurements any more than any other uncontrolled factor.

[S. Earl Martin]

Voodoo: Calm down dude don't pop your cork LOL! Yes order of priority is not fixed I didn't imply it was. It is what the individual places the most empathsis on at the time. Feeling, doing, thinking. And yes it does vary from person to person and situation to situation again I didn't imply it that it didn't. Being a good liar usually does require a diminished conscious. Or a sinister spirit if it is used in a spitful way.

Now what knowing how to ride a bicycle has to do with being a good liar I don't follow you there? I don't agree that being a good liar can be emotional or intuitive. It takes awareness and planing to keep track of what has been said and lies that have been told and to who. That can not be accomplished on an instinctual level.

Actually we are at the same place we have been before where you are reading things into what I said that are not stated or implied. I never said that videogames cause antisocial behavior or that studies showing this have been done. I have seen studies that demonstrate that people from the video game generation have more trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy. That they tend to see reality as they want not how it is.

Also to clarify. In the past if my memory serves you have asked for proof and facts in our conversations. Even refering to the scientific method on occasion. This is what I was refering to. I put that in a question form because I sincerily wanted your opinion.

Uncontrolled variables always destort measurements. You have to have a controlled standard of measurement to find accurate data. If you were doing a survey of people and they lied it would corrupt your data and invalidate you results. Look at the scientific studies that have been in the news lately where data was falsified and the resulting loss of faith that resulted. The detractors of global warming used the corrupted data to claim global warming was a fraud. You can lie if you want. Learn the lesson the hard way if you want. If you want people to trust you, you have to be trustworthy.

I was at a meeting for a job before and a number of executives were there. One of them told a little lie as a joke. To mess with some of the people there. The president of the company never trusted them again. Even though the president was not the reciever of the joke. It destroyed the reputation of the person telling the lie. That they could so cavalierly lie and not blink made the president suspicious of them.
I strive for truth and acurate information as much as possible.

[voodoo scientist]

First off, there's no need for you to make implications about my emotional state - it is likely to be neither relevant or correct. Once again, evidence points to parallel capacities, but beyond that there is nothing concrete. It may be a two- or multi-factor system, or it may be as or more complex than I first implied. However, there is certainly very limited conscious impact on the actual weight distribution or people would behave much more consistently than they do. If you essentially agree with the statement that the brain is most likely a parallel computer and thinking, feeling and behaving all happen simultaneously with variable, non-random weight distributions, then I suppose I misunderstood you, but that is mutually exclusive with your claim that any one of them is consistently dominant.

You are also wrong about lying being an inherently cognitive skill. There are many adept liars with no declarative understanding of what makes  them good liars, or who are not even aware (though they can always become aware) that they are "good liars." It can be learned in a wholly procedural manner without declarative understanding of the skill. Children can be good liars, but few of these can reliably describe what makes them good liars - they just have a procedural understanding of lying, like they have of riding a bike.

Your story, if true, illustrates the hyperbolic attitude towards lying far better than the dire consequences of lying, and your other example serves well to underline the danger to progress of this attitude: the scientists were eventually cleared of all wrongdoing. Climate science has been set back a decade in the eyes of the public because people (much like the president in your story) vastly overreacted to what wasn't even a lie.

[S. Earl Martin]

We are going round and round again. It would depend on how you define "good liar". Both my belief and yours are opinions and could not be proven either way. I still believe that if someone is lying without direct conscious thought about the process. They can't be a good liar because they are pron to make errors that will lead to the lie being found out.

Further just because you don't agree with my opinion that doesn't make my opinion wrong. It makes it different from yours.

It is also obvious that at different times we are more pron to reacting logically or emotionally. When someone is having sex or becomes jealous that makes them react emotionally more often. When they are trying to find an address or follow a map they are more logical usually. Again there is no set limit to peoples actions and reactions. What I was trying to point out is that at different times we are more logical or emotional. The statements try to point out the order of the different processes and how they are carried out. I did not say any one is exclusivly dominant. That is why there are six different variables. All given equal weight.

So tell me is lying a good thing or a bad thing? In your opinion? If you think it is a good thing then you would have no problem let's say with someone decieving you and stealing your property? Or your lover cheating on you and lying about it? How about if someone you trusted betrayed and humilated you? When I have experienced situations like these I was pretty pissed. But that is just me.

Blessings and harmony be yours.

[S. Earl Martin]

I find it interseting that your statements support the studies about the video game generation having trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy. The fact you have no problem lying would be an indication of this. Although I do not know your age or even gender. It shows the possibility of the premiss being correct.

Also on further thought I have revised my thinking about as to weather someone can be a good liar on an instinctual level. I have in fact seen people who can enter a situation without preparing very much and do quit well. I am not one of these. If I am forced to I can function in an emergency situation and have in the past. I prefer to be as prepared as possible. So I will admit it is possible. 

Peace and serenity be yours.

[KateBazilevsky]

My question is, why do they do it?

Because it makes them feel good about themselves and makes them feel more secure in this deviated society that lived without the Catalog of Human Population until recently, thanks to Confucius who did not understand what "Shan Hai Jing" is in the 5th century (B.C.). But all that can change and our civilization now has hope to live the way nature intended. Check out catalogofhumanpopulation .org and catalogofhumanpopulation .org/forum

[KateBazilevsky]

How many ignorant people does it take to destroy a planet

)) People as they are today are not capable of destroying it, but they believe they can because they think very highly of themselves. If you look at the Earth from space you will not even see humans. So lets not flatter ourselves by thinking that we are greater than nature.  

[S. Earl Martin]

The statement is not intended to mean the whole planet litarally. Rather it is intended to be life as we know it. Something can be destroyed without it actually being reduced to nothing. For instance a car in an accident could be destroyed, but it would be still recognizable as a car. The planet could be destroyed in the same way and still be recognizable as a planet. Hundreds of kilo tons of nuclear weapons could accomplish that very easily. Also the most prevalent answer I receive to that statement is "just one".

[KateBazilevsky]

The statement is not intended to mean the whole planet litarally. Rather it is intended to be life as we know it. Something can be destroyed without it actually being reduced to nothing. For instance a car in an accident could be destroyed, but it would be still recognizable as a car. The planet could be destroyed in the same way and still be recognizable as a planet. Hundreds of kilo tons of nuclear weapons could accomplish that very easily. Also the most prevalent answer I receive to that statement is "just one".

Agreed. Why do you think people engage in self-destruction?

[S. Earl Martin]

Any answer would be purely speculetive. Each person undoubtedly has their own reason, but In general either a conscious or sub conscious feeling of loathing. Or possibly guilt. Now the origen of those feelings would take a lot of searching to find out and may never be known.

[lauragreda]

Because they are afraid to say the true.