What is this?

[Luke789]

I have been fairly depressed lately, but I often times feel happy, not manic kind of happy, just a contented happy.  Other times, I'll feel really down.  I think about suicide about every day, but I am not considering it, just thinking about it. 

Is this just an attempt to get attention?  As I have told several people.  I find that I enjoy being depressed, and I enjoy the novelty of being a 'depressed person'.  I also kind of want to start cutting.  This reinforces the idea that I am just doing this for attention.

I really do hate myself, I hate everything about myself pretty much. I have done things to get attention in the past, I probably hate this part of me the most.  This has led to depression and I have cut myself before because I hated myself so much.

I haven't been that depressed in the last week.  It was really bad around christmas.

So, am I really depressed? Or Am I just trying to get attention?  Thanks, btw, I am a 14 yo guy.

[Quigon]

To be honest Luke I would say you sound like a pretty normal 14 yo guy. But if you have any real concerns go and see a doctor.

[S. Earl Martin]

The world is a scarey place and it is difficult to know what is in store. So being depressed is not unusual. Especially for someone at your age. There are other ways to get attention. Writeing or hobbies. Try to find a positive way to use your energy. When I was your age I was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder. When I got depressed I would write poetry or music. I would find ways to help other people and that made me feel like I was making a difference. This helped me cope with the depression. You have a lot of life ahead of you. Try and be patient. Doing good makes you feel good. Peace!