Driving

[daftcow]

Not sure what category to post this in so I decided just to put it here.

I have 25 and have been learning to drive on and off since I was 17.  I gave it up for a few years and went back to it in the summer of 2007 and this is the first time I have really stuck to it.

However, I really cant see me ever passing the test.  My first two instructors were really crap but I thought it was me.  Now I have this feeling of doom and I cant really see the point in continuing with the lessons but I have spent an awful lot of money on them and I cant give up.

I have never had a lot of self-confidence and all my teachers at school always said I lacked confidence in report cards etc.

I had a fantastic instructor until recently,called Ian, but he had to leave for personal reasons.  Since then I have had anther not so good instructor and I have asked for a new one.

However, how am I going to go forward from this?  Whenever I get a little confidence in myself and a little belief that I might just pass, it goes down the tube fairly quickly.  Family etc think I should have passed by now, which just makes me feel even worse.  My brother said I must be "rubbish at it", my father in law asked if I was "simply playing at driving or actually learning".  They both passed yeaers go and dont realise how much more strict things have become. 

The main reason I need to get my license is for my mum, she doesnt keep well and her mobility is getting worse.  I dont believe she should need to get the bus to hospital appointments etc.  My mum doesnt understand as she has never driven a car so she just tells me to "hurry up and pass".

So what do I do?  Ian says I CAN drive a car, its just a case of "refining" my driving.  I struggle only with the manouvres, like parallel park and left reverse.  I know HOW to do them, I just cant seem to do it right, I always end up making an arse of it, then  I get nervous and make even more stupid mistakes.  Then I just end up in tears, I never cried once with Ian because he was always so positive, but the more recent instructor made me stupid   I feel more and more defeated every day.  I need my license - not just for my mum but for me too.  It would give me much more freedom and enable me to travel further afield for work, so I can apply for better paid jobs in my field.  There is no option for me not to pass, so why can't I do something that everyone else seems to find so easy?

[Shell]

I can definitely relate to the intimidation/lack of confidence and skill and all that.  I didn't get my license until I was about 22 or so.  Won't get into the details about this, but I will say that I was quite embarassed not being able to drive.

I failed the first time -- was so nervous I wanted to pull over and just walk home.  But I rocked it the second time.

It takes confidence, will power, and a friend that is supportive and not judgemental.  I did great at parallel parking, too. 

My husband taught me how to drive and he was an excellent teacher - very patient with me.  I can't drive stick to save my life and have gotten so frustrated with it that I vow to never try to learn.  lol

Practice.  A lot.  Do you have any friends who won't laugh at you or make you feel foolish?  You'll need someone who is patient.

When you're practicing, don't worry about NOT doing good.  Just do it.  Be patient with yourself, WANT to drive. 

[daftcow]

Thanks Cecile,

I do want to drive desperately. And I do feel embarrassed about not being able to. The longer time goes on, the more defeated I feel. I cant practice that much, unfortunately. I go on my lessons but thats about it. Theres no point in bf taking me out in his car because  he makes it impossible for me to relax and I just end up feeling worse.

[Shell]

Theres no point in bf taking me out in his car because  he makes it impossible for me to relax and I just end up feeling worse.

That's the thing - you need someone who won't have this affect on you.  Do you have any friends or coworkers you could ask?  When my husband wasn't able to help me, there was a guy at work who would help me practice parallel parking - he was a huge support to me, very patient and kind. 

I feel your struggle - if you were here I'd love to help you out!

[daftcow]

No unfortunately I dont have anyone else who can help me. So I dont have any practice between lessons, which sucks. I guess I just gotta keep at it. I hope my new instructor is as good as Ian, otherwise I fear Im screwed.

Thanks for being so understanding. Youre a great support xXx

[Joe_lacek]

"Otherwise I fear Im screwed."

You're never screwed unless it's something out of your control, this in fact, is all you. So no, you're not screwed you're just in a predicament.

Now, I received my license when I was 17. What helped me the most was studying my driving manual. When you know the road rules inside and out, you feel more confident in your abilities. When you know how to do something like the back of your hand, your skill in actually doing it will follow, slowly but surely.

Do you have some kind of book or packet you can study?

[daftcow]

i do and i have been looking at it, i also passed my theory test a couple of months ago.

Maybe Im just not meant to do it.

[coyote]

please! even little old ladies learn to drive! *sadly*
I am sure if you keep at it, you'll master it. I learned how to drive as a child. Thankfully. I think learning as a kid is much easier cause I was to stupid to be afraid! or embarressed. My husband is a great driver now, but it took 5 tries for him to pass the test. He was in his 20's as well. Keep up the work! you'll master it!

[Shell]

You're never screwed unless it's something out of your control, this in fact, is all you. So no, you're not screwed you're just in a predicament.

Joe, what wise words!  I like this.

Daftcow, keep up the practice hon.  As previously stated above, and wisely stated by Rob Schneider - YOU CAN DO IT!!! 

Keep posting here for encouragement.    Good luck and I hope you pass your test soon!

[daftcow]

Well I am now on instructor number five!  This one seems good, he was calm and encouraging, not patronising like number 4.  Hes almost as good as number 3.  So I am feeling a lot more positive now!  I just wish my confidence wasnt as fragile.
 
I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks to eeryone for your support!

[coyote]

Ive been watching alot of Bewitched lately! There is an episode where Samantha has to learn how to drive. Even those of us with magical powers struggle! Hope it goes well for you with the new instructor.

[daftcow]

Thanks Fingers crossed anyway. Though my lesson was cancelled yesterday, it seems like the gods dont want me to drive at all.

[S_R_S5]

Maybe god isn't trying to not let you drive, but instead he wants you to ask him for help on the test.

Just a thought.

[daftcow]

Im not very religious, unfortunately. I was brought up Christian, but my own beliefs are more Pagan.