Dating my therapist and ethics

[morgansmiles]

Hello to everyone that reads this. I'm writing because I can't seem to find a guideline in the code of ethics that covers a relationship between therapist and patient after the therapist retires. I understand the rules stating that a therapist must wait two years after the termination of therapy to date a patient, but as far as I can tell this does not cover retirement. Am I right in assuming that as the therapist is no longer a therapist that the code of ethics no longer applies?

I would appreciate any input on this matter. Thank you so much!

[Mello-kun]

I must ask, why do you have to wait two years after the termination of therapy?
Are you simply not allowed to date them regardless?

[Karaten]

I must ask, why do you have to wait two years after the termination of therapy?
Are you simply not allowed to date them regardless?

Therapists are in a position of trust, and therapy emulates compassion which can easily cause feelings of love.

I would theorize that this would prevent people from preying on patients by having them fall in love, then immediately ending therapy and taking advantage of them.

[Mello-kun]

Ahh. Thanks for explaining that to me

[Chris]

Whether or not the strict code of ethics applies, the principles of ethics still apply, which means that the minimum two-year delay should be followed.  Codes of ethics are simply agreed upon statements of practice that affirm moral principles.  Whether the individual in question is still in practice or not, the principle of avoidance of dual relationships if possible, especially romantic dual relationships, is still in play.

The safest practice from an ethical standpoint is to avoid romantic relationships with former clients, period. 

This is a link to the APA standards on the issue (see section 10.08):

http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/index.aspx?item=13

Only in very unusual cases should this kind of relationship be engaged in, and even then the therapist has a responsibility to be able to demonstrate that there was no exploitation of any kind.

[GuitarLeo]

Hey Morgan,
Are you considering dating your therapist, or only dreaming of it? :-)

I found this thread because I'm in the throes of what I suppose is transference. I was with my therapist for about 9 months. About halfway through that, I started noticing lots of commonalities--same interests, and it didn't hurt that he was attractive and single. It's not serious erotic fantasies, but I do find myself thinking of him too often and thinking "what if??" a lot.

I finally told him my feelings and said I wanted to terminate, at least for a while, as I sorted stuff out. When I did, he was sweet about dealing with it and quick to inform me that after two years we can be friends, that if we'd met out there things might be different, blah blah blah.  He also confessed that some folks are easy to love, implying that he felt a sense of love for me.

What's up with the love thing? And why would he tell me the two years rule? Wouldn't most therapists just want to end things, or at least suggest transference needed to be worked on? I don't usually get random crushes like this, so this is weird and new to me.

Any insight is so appreciated--thank you.

[drywaterdrywater]

well you have fun waiting for 2 years by then he probably ended up dating his new therapist... guy or girl... who knows

[ftrammell]

I never heard about this type of code of ethics, but why would it matter now if he is retired. I feel like he is welcome to be with whom ever he would like now. But I may be wrong.

[ohten337]

My question for 10.08 is how they formed the agreement for two years, instead of one or 5 years.  Is there publication to this debate on how they formed the number of two years? thanks